Oh... The Famous Question: "What do you do for a living?"

The postpartum phase of a woman’s life can be crazy in terms of adjusting to the baby, the new routine, the new body, and all the mess around the house, but it’s also a time for recognizing herself. During postpartum the woman goes deep into herself, into her own shades of fears, the fragility she had as a child, the expectations about herself as a mother, and all the conclusions about what the people around her are suggesting she should or should not do. She comes back from diving so deep every day, and every day she rebuilds herself.

There’s a reconstruction of this woman when she becomes a parent. She will be taking a new role now as a mother, and this interferes with the way she sees herself entirely. At one point during this intense moment then, she will feel more grounded again, she’ll start to dream about what she would like to do with her life in terms of how this stronger self will show up in the world.

Some women decide that they want to be a ‘stay-home mom’, some will adopt this role because of the circumstances. Some women need to go back to work very soon after giving birth (they may or may not like it). Other women struggle to restart their careers after so long, or they just aren’t sure of what they would like to do now, then they hear that famous question:

“What do you do for a living?”

They stop and think… “I’m not sure, I’m a mom”

Being a mom involves a ton of work, but what are we doing every day? What type of WORK is occupying us between dishes, cleaning, planning meals, cooking and playing with our children? The answer to these questions will be the same for the following:

"What do you do for a living?"

Finding purpose after becoming mothers could be challenging, since our lives turn upside-down, but it is possible when we realize that we are more that those activities we do automatically. If you get to the end of the day and feel unsure of what you’ve done with your time, you might feel like there’s something missing.

What’s missing is YOU.

It’s crucial that you re-encounter with yourself in a meaningful way after postpartum. Look at yourself, and find what it is that shakes you inside, that idea you have that has potential to start a new business, a new project or a new perspective as your role as a mother.

What would give you a sense of self-realization? Is it to embrace your new life as a stay-home-mom and feel proud of yourself for that choice? Is it to find a new career or launch that project you have in mind? What are the steps to make those dreams become true?

I’ll suggest that you take some time for yourself today, and free your mind. Go somewhere different and beautiful, it could be outdoors or in your own imagination… you can have your favorite song inspiring you, or enjoy pure silence… Let all your tensions go, feel free to let emerge your feelings and desires. They are the fire for your soul and all you want to accomplish.

You are wired to contribute the best you can to your family and community with your talents.

I’ll love you know about your thoughts and ideas. Please get in touch to share them with me, or just leave your comments below. And if it’s still hard to see what you’d like to do or how to make it happen, find support in our circle of mothers. We are here forming this web of care and empowerment because we believe in the power of the community.

XOXO,

Milla

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Milla Rubinger is a writer and perinatal therapist.

She helps women dive in and allow real transformation during pregnancy and postpartum.

Click here for more of her content!